The Second Date Cometh........well maybe

Hey kids!! Mama is baaaaaaaaaaaaaacck!
Sorry for the small hiatus but a little something called Fall Premier Week was happening and sad but true there was a lot of must see programming that I just couldn't stand to miss! Glee (so funny), Survivor, ANTM, Gossip Girl.....ahem..ok let's get back on track and focus on why I'm really here....DATES. So last time we chatted the latest buzz was about Big Ben. Well...after what I would rate about a 9 on a scale of 10 for first dates, Big Ben left for a business trip for 2 whole weeks! While Big Ben was away, we managed to keep in touch with each other via email which was a very welcomed and nice surprise. Fast forward two weeks to Saturday, September 19th, and based on my calculations the eagle has landed and is back in town as of today. Now...think you already know where I am going with this....the part of dating that I loathe and that drives so many of us over the edge and running to the nearest pint of ice cream, baked good, chocolate bar or in my case a bottle of wine.....the infamous Second Date Phone Call!! While my instincts tell me that things were great and I would definitely welcome a second date.....my alter dating ego, which thanks to all of my trusty dating and relationship guides wonders hmmm....maybe he's just not that into me?!? The old me before I started on this lofty and ambitious quest to find the ultimate relationship and l-o-v-e by going out on 100 Dates would have rationalized every way from Tuesday why I haven't received a call for a second date yet. Come on girls....you know what I'm talking about...."Maybe he hasn't called because he's jet lagged" or "Maybe he's so tired and just catching up on his sleep" or "Maybe he left his phone on the plane and can't find a way to reach you..lol" or "Maybe you're jinxing it by talking about it!" and another classic one, "Maybe he likes you so much he's nervous and is waiting for you to give him the right signal that you're interested in him!" Blah..blah..blah..now before starting this blog I think I may have fallen victim to one of those dumb ass excuses just to stroke my ego and make myself feel better but now I am armed with many options AND the advice from the supreme relationship Gods...I know better damn it! Now many of you may be thinking....Stop! Wait! It's only been one day!!!! While I'm not one for drastic measures, I am officially prepared to call a T.O.D=Time of Death (thanks for that one Natalie..love it), on Big Ben after sun down on Sunday....ahhhhhh.

'Sunrise...sunset...sunrise..sunset....'

So clearly I've got some serious dating to do, the days are flying by and I've got LOTS of dates to catch up on. I will give you a small peek into what's on tap for me: Speed Dating event coming up soon, 4 set ups still waiting in the wings, and 90% away from securing a date with a brand new suitor. So even though you haven't heard from me in the last week due to my budding new relationships with the CW, Fox, and CBS, I have still been earnestly working on finding that special guy that will appreciate and share me with my prime time network men for the Fall season. Oh...and a new relationship will bud this week with ABC..can we say 2 hour premiere of Grey's Anatomy?? And before I get any flack about television and the fact that a plastic remote and 1080i won't keep me warm at night or walk me down the aisle......YES I have a DVR!!

Yikes....only 3 months left in the year...I recently read something about Black Friday specials already!! Stay Tuned...........................

Damn You Facebook!!!!!

So I must digress from my mission of 100 Dates for a moment as I sit here in a small state of SHOCK. Ok....so for all of you Sex and The City fans remember the episode when Carrie was at a Fourth of July party in the Hamptons and bumps into Big and finds out that he met someone while he was away on business in Paris?? Now fast forward to the other episode where they decide to bury the hatchet and maintain their "friendship" and Carrie learns over lunch that Big is a lot more serious than what she thought....i.e... he was engaged?!!?!??! Well..I just had a little Fourth of July/Bury the Hatchet moment of my own folks....and who or what is to blame do you ask.....boredom, Facebook, and a little red wine on a Saturday night! Yes...just discovered that a guy that I dated in NYC..on and off, off and on, off then on, for about 3 years in NYC is now MARRIED. The quintessential bachelor that I never thought even knew how to spell the word let alone do the deed is married. A big F***ing thanks goes out to Facebook for allowing me to bear witness to countless status updates and wall postings and well wishes from friends and family...can we say TMI??? Hmmm guess there is something to that catchy book turned blockbuster movie, "He's Just Not That Into You" which also just happens to be my Buru of the moment:

Rule #7: He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You........

Damn you Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo...........you are so right on.

3 months, 2 weeks, 4 days and 94 dates to go....ahhhh..where's my big clock???? [refer to last post to explain "Big Clock"]

Date #6: Tennis, a little Vaseline, and a Big Clock

Picture it….a cool Sunday afternoon sitting outside at The Alcove in Los Feliz sipping on a non fat latte having interesting conversation….ahhhh. So not only did I have Date #6 this past Sunday but I also enjoyed a Golden Girls marathon (only a die hard GG fan would understand the “picture it” reference…kudos to you). On to Date #6…..and yes, he is the bi product of yet another online dating resource compliments of Match.com. Now at first glance from his profile picture I have to admit that I was a little shallow and my expectations were not the greatest based on his picture but I liked his 'stats': 36, athletic, wants kids, never been married, social drinker, graduate degree, and is passionate about his job. The fact that his picture looked as if he used Vaseline instead of some fancy exfoliating cleanser to wash his face was just a small formality right? We exchanged a few emails with each other and he had a pretty good sense of humor...well good enough to appreciate my sassy yet goofy attitude that only a mother could love. While I am a big fan of the game of tennis, I am not one for engaging in a tournament of emails with a potential date..i.e.. a barrage of emails about our life stories back and forth, back and forth, back and forth....match point already!! Ahhhh....enough about tennis and Vaseline (sorry Serena) on to details about the date!!

So after a few technical difficulties in communicating with each other (as if we don't have enough ways to be in touch AND get rejected these days....cell, text, im, bbm, facebook, voice mail, email..think you get it) after HE was an hour late we finally connected with each other in Los Feliz. I know you're all dying to know his 'name' aren't you?? Well #6 and I had a really engaging conversation about race, fashion, and the financial world.....I can't think of 3 subjects that link better together can you? Hmmm....President Obama, Fashion Night Out, and a few little names like JP Morgan Chase and AIG...well this wasn't the exact stream of conversation but you get the point. #6 works in the world of finance and corruption ahem..I meant finance and consumption :) and he informed me that he was off to London for business the very next day so I couldn't think of a better moniker for #6 than you guessed it....Big Ben (London, big clock, time, HE was late.....makes sense right?).

I must say meeting Big Ben in person was quite the surprise. Gone was the squinty eyed, grease slicked face from his profile picture and hello to a fresh faced, dimply, bright eyed good looking guy......phew! We ordered our fancy coffee drinks, found a comfortable spot to chat outside and proceeded to engage each other in stimulating conversation. I learned that Big Ben was originally from the East coast, was engaged and involved in a long term relationship for 9 years, and was also somewhat of a newbie to the West coast like me. I found the conversation to be seamless and easy....he served, I hit back, another serve, another hit...no Aces...just an easy and fun game of dating tennis. In fact the conversation was so seamless that we were still engaged on a subject as he was walking me to my car to end the date.

On to the advice...I switched gears and started reading the tome of a new Buru, this week it's a little advice from Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo otherwise known as the geniuses behind "He's Just Not That Into You". Now some of you may think that this first date with Big Ben may be a tad bit too soon to discern whether or not he's into me but I think no time is like the present so I'd like to break a few things down based on the tips from the book and see if my #6 could potentially turn into Dates #'s 7-100:


Rule #1: He's just not that into you if he's not calling you:
First date aside I will say that Big Ben has contacted me via email on 3 occasions whilst away in London for the week. Now only time will tell what stands to happen once he is back on dry land but so far his cyber contact has been cute, funny, and engaging.

Rule #2: He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out:
Although there is a rather large body of water and about a dozen or so States between Big Ben and myself he has managed to ask me out for when he is back in town. Geez...is a trip to the Abbey (and I'm not talking about the one in WeHo for all you Los Angelian's) and a body of water is all it really takes for a guy to seal the deal for another date these days?

Rule #3: He's just not that into you if he's unable to show some type of affection...towards YOU: Now this was a rule of my own that I thought I would throw in for good measure. I happen to be an extremely affectionate person and I have come to realize that being with a person that cannot show affection towards me in a relationship is a DEAL BREAKER for me. And no...I'm not saying that I want to throw down with a guy at a bus stop, waiting in line at Starbucks, or in the Travel section of Barnes & Noble BUT I am a warm, touchy feely kind of person that requires some attention and reciprocity in that department. I once dated a guy in my 20's that would walk 3 steps ahead of me when we were walking down the street.......now with the wisdom of my 30s its safe to say that he just wasn't that into me but at that time like most of us I chose to believe that he really did like me but had an unfortunate rare skin disorder on the palms of his hands that prevented any skin to skin contact. Ahhh Greg and Liz....where have you been all of my life??

So there are a lot more rules to follow in the 'No Excuses Truth to Understanding guys' from "He's Just Not That Into You" which I will revisit once Big Ben resets his clock stateside.......

Stay tuned... :o)