Picture it….a cool Sunday afternoon sitting outside at The Alcove in Los Feliz sipping on a non fat latte having interesting conversation….ahhhh. So not only did I have Date #6 this past Sunday but I also enjoyed a Golden Girls marathon (only a die hard GG fan would understand the “picture it” reference…kudos to you). On to Date #6…..and yes, he is the bi product of yet another online dating resource compliments of Match.com. Now at first glance from his profile picture I have to admit that I was a little shallow and my expectations were not the greatest based on his picture but I liked his 'stats': 36, athletic, wants kids, never been married, social drinker, graduate degree, and is passionate about his job. The fact that his picture looked as if he used Vaseline instead of some fancy exfoliating cleanser to wash his face was just a small formality right? We exchanged a few emails with each other and he had a pretty good sense of humor...well good enough to appreciate my sassy yet goofy attitude that only a mother could love. While I am a big fan of the game of tennis, I am not one for engaging in a tournament of emails with a potential date..i.e.. a barrage of emails about our life stories back and forth, back and forth, back and forth....match point already!! Ahhhh....enough about tennis and Vaseline (sorry Serena) on to details about the date!!
So after a few technical difficulties in communicating with each other (as if we don't have enough ways to be in touch AND get rejected these days....cell, text, im, bbm, facebook, voice mail, email..think you get it) after HE was an hour late we finally connected with each other in Los Feliz. I know you're all dying to know his 'name' aren't you?? Well #6 and I had a really engaging conversation about race, fashion, and the financial world.....I can't think of 3 subjects that link better together can you? Hmmm....President Obama, Fashion Night Out, and a few little names like JP Morgan Chase and AIG...well this wasn't the exact stream of conversation but you get the point. #6 works in the world of finance and corruption ahem..I meant finance and consumption :) and he informed me that he was off to London for business the very next day so I couldn't think of a better moniker for #6 than you guessed it....Big Ben (London, big clock, time, HE was late.....makes sense right?).
I must say meeting Big Ben in person was quite the surprise. Gone was the squinty eyed, grease slicked face from his profile picture and hello to a fresh faced, dimply, bright eyed good looking guy......phew! We ordered our fancy coffee drinks, found a comfortable spot to chat outside and proceeded to engage each other in stimulating conversation. I learned that Big Ben was originally from the East coast, was engaged and involved in a long term relationship for 9 years, and was also somewhat of a newbie to the West coast like me. I found the conversation to be seamless and easy....he served, I hit back, another serve, another hit...no Aces...just an easy and fun game of dating tennis. In fact the conversation was so seamless that we were still engaged on a subject as he was walking me to my car to end the date.
On to the advice...I switched gears and started reading the tome of a new Buru, this week it's a little advice from Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo otherwise known as the geniuses behind "He's Just Not That Into You". Now some of you may think that this first date with Big Ben may be a tad bit too soon to discern whether or not he's into me but I think no time is like the present so I'd like to break a few things down based on the tips from the book and see if my #6 could potentially turn into Dates #'s 7-100:
Rule #1: He's just not that into you if he's not calling you: First date aside I will say that Big Ben has contacted me via email on 3 occasions whilst away in London for the week. Now only time will tell what stands to happen once he is back on dry land but so far his cyber contact has been cute, funny, and engaging.
Rule #2: He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out: Although there is a rather large body of water and about a dozen or so States between Big Ben and myself he has managed to ask me out for when he is back in town. Geez...is a trip to the Abbey (and I'm not talking about the one in WeHo for all you Los Angelian's) and a body of water is all it really takes for a guy to seal the deal for another date these days?
Rule #3: He's just not that into you if he's unable to show some type of affection...towards YOU: Now this was a rule of my own that I thought I would throw in for good measure. I happen to be an extremely affectionate person and I have come to realize that being with a person that cannot show affection towards me in a relationship is a DEAL BREAKER for me. And no...I'm not saying that I want to throw down with a guy at a bus stop, waiting in line at Starbucks, or in the Travel section of Barnes & Noble BUT I am a warm, touchy feely kind of person that requires some attention and reciprocity in that department. I once dated a guy in my 20's that would walk 3 steps ahead of me when we were walking down the street.......now with the wisdom of my 30s its safe to say that he just wasn't that into me but at that time like most of us I chose to believe that he really did like me but had an unfortunate rare skin disorder on the palms of his hands that prevented any skin to skin contact. Ahhh Greg and Liz....where have you been all of my life??
So there are a lot more rules to follow in the 'No Excuses Truth to Understanding guys' from "He's Just Not That Into You" which I will revisit once Big Ben resets his clock stateside.......
Stay tuned... :o)
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