Week 3: Red, White, and Phew!!!!......

So, I went out with Bachelor #4 tonight, had TWO cocktails, engaging conversation, AND he didn't need a bus card to get home!! Ding..Ding..Ding!! Phew!....after that train wreck of a date on Monday its so sad that a few mixed drinks and a hunk of steel (the car not the guy) can get a girl a little excited. Ok..so let's get back on track to the Guy, the Scene, and tips from my Buru Giuliani Rancic's dating tome, "Think Like a Guy...How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One".

The Guy
I met Date #4 on Match.com and we actually exchanged a few emails and a phone call before our date. His emails were short and sweet and to the point but the key thing I learned about #4 before meeting him was his LOVE of travelling...and I'm not just talking about a three hour drive to Vegas or the Grand Canyon but serious world traveler....we like this. So I think the perfect moniker for him is The Roaming Gnome! I mean what says travel more than that cute little Gnome with the pointy red hat from all those Expedia.com commercials and NO he wasn't that little!

The Scene
I took a suggestion from a friend for the spot where we met. Now, I must tell you that one of my dating pet peeves is for the guy to throw the planning of the place/date in the girls lap on the first date....HATE it! I cut him a little slack as he wasn't at all familiar with the part of town where we met and he did the chivalrous gesture of agreeing to meet in my hood, but that's what Citysearch, Yelp, Shecky's, and all those damn iPhone apps are for right? We end up at a place called the "Good Luck Bar" and good luck on stomaching the dimly lit red lights and overabundance of Asian themed decorations...also ALL in red.

Overall I must say that I had a good evening with The Roaming Gnome. I learned a lot of interesting things about him - he is a high school teacher, has travelled the world extensively, compassionate, smart, athletic, and is close to his family. While I can't say that it was like 4th of July with sparks flying during our date (more like Chinese New Year in this bar...) I could honestly see a potential friendship forming with him. I know..I know..I have said this myself oh so many times..."I'm not looking for friends here!" but he was a decent guy and we had a few things in common. I also gathered from conversation that the Roaming Gnome was not seeking something serious at this point (hmm...maybe I need to start reading "He's Just Not That Into You" next...). Perhaps I need to add another column to my 100 Dates spreadsheet...JF = Just Friends?? A followup will be in order for this one......stay tuned.

The Book
And finally the advice. So I read "TLAGHTGAGBTLO" from cover to cover. I highly recommend this book especially to my single ladies. Not only did this book make me laugh out loud (I felt like I was reading a David Sedaris book I was laughing so much!) but the advice was straight up, relevant, and oh so dead on! In fact..the actual prologue of the book was a warning that read: "No bullshit was used in the making of this book. It is honest, sometimes harsh, and can be unpleasant to read. Most important, it's straightforward and to the point." The book highlights a total of #66 tips to follow in order to get the guy, keep the guy, keep the guy excited, and run off into the sunset riding a unicorn....but I will breakdown a choice few for you:

#1- Give Him Your Digits, But Don't Take His
Ok..so I followed this very basic but often broken rule to a tee. During our email exchanges he offered me his phone number and I flipped it right back and gave him mine and patiently waited for his call. It's ALL about letting him make the first move ladies!

#4- It's Your Dirty Laundry Not His
"He's a guy, not your best gal pal. So save your deepest, darkest secrets for the flight back from the honeymoon". Usually a rule like this would be more appropriate for a few more dates but in this case I listed it because of rule #32 (See last rule). The basic premise of this rule is to keep the first date conversation nice and light and to not reveal too much about yourself too early as no one wants to carry around emotional baggage early into a relationship. Save the confessionals for designated GNO's. And once again I get an A for this rule...my date..not so lucky (see Rule #32).

#15-Have a Sense of Humor
"In the land of bar conversation the dirty joke reigns supreme". Sorry to disappoint but no dirty jokes from The Roaming Gnome BUT he had a pretty good sense of humor and told a few stories that if given a score card I would have passed with an A for rolling with the punches and passing the "cool" chick test.

#18-Words Never to Mention on the First Three Dates
According to our Buru there are a 13 words that if uttered on a date could be considered dating suicide and here they are (try to control your laughter please):

Soulmate
Destiny
Rehab
Baby
Disease
Wedding
My Sister's Wedding
Astrology
Therapist
Prozac
Ex-Husband
Restraining Order
Biological Clock

I passed this one with flying colors tonight but sometimes that astrology one gets me. Although, The Roaming Gnome did make mention a few times of his Ex but it wasn't in a "I'm still crazy in love with this woman" sort of way...but take note on who is breaking the rules here..not I!

#32-Never Admit You've Had Plastic Surgery
"Unless he was in the operating room with you, he can't ever really prove it"...preach Giuliana preach!! Ok..so at this point I've probably got all of you sitting on the edge of your seats asking yourself..OMG?!?! Did Diona have plastic surgery?? Yeah...well a girl can dream right? I would have lipo in a hot second if I had the extra cash to blow but let's get back to why I actually posted this rule. I posted the rule because someone else admitted to going under the knife for ahem..a "deviated septum" yes...you guessed it The Roaming Gnome told me he got a nose job two months ago to help his breathing. Well I would like to get some of the fat sucked from between my thighs one of these days to help my "walking"!

So recess is over....stay tuned for more dates and upDates!

Tre, Trois, Trifecta.......Date #3!!!!!!!!!

Ok...what a way to end Week 2 folks...with a date! And this one is almost too good for words...but before I set the scene and talk about the guy I must tell you how Date #3 even came to be (ahh...think I rhymed a little). So I met Date #3 at work....yup...at work. I actually met him about a week ago where we made a little small talk and he proceeded to give me his take on how shallow LA women are....ughh...not this song and dance again. I saw him again today and after a little meaningless chit chat his wandering gaze stopped to focus on my other 'set of eyes' to ask me if I was interested in meeting him for coffee a little later. Not wanting to disappoint you I said what the hell and agreed to a coffee/drink date with him. Ahhh....now its time to get to the 'piece de resistance'!

The Guy
So let's all revisit World History for a second. There was an infamous man whose namesake we still use to this day to refer to a 'certain' type of man and this also just happens to be the best moniker I can think of for Date #3.....you guessed it...Napoleon. I also couldn't resist adding a short (no pun intended) description from Wikipedia just to make sure you get it:

[In 1908 psychologist Alfred Adler cited Napoleon to describe an inferiority complex where short people adopt an overaggressive behavior to compensate for lack of height; this inspired the term Napoleon complex.[152] The stock character of Napoleon is a comically short "petty tyrant" and this has become a cliché in popular culture.]

So on the outside Napoleon was a nice little package...maybe a smidge shorter than me..but his redeeming quality was his nicely formed chest and arms, his interesting accent, and his ability to put up with my sometimes sassy sense of humor. Nice Delts + Nice Pecs + Accent - Height Deficit = Possibility. Ok....on to the scene and a little more of Napoleon sans the Dynamite.

The Scene
We met at The Grove which is a popular outdoor mall/farmer's market/good spot with lots of people, noise, and lights just in case he's a lunatic. I meet Napoleon in front of a popular spot and the minute I see him he informs me that he tried to use his credit/debit card at the cute little restaurant/lounge spot right next to us but was told that the card didn't work because the "expiration" date had passed. Hmmmm.......I am all about giving the benefit of the doubt in situations but after I got a look at the card and that the expiration date clearly stated 7/13, I began to wonder if "expiration date" was a new code word for "declined". I decided to go with the flow and tell him not to worry about it but Napoleon just couldn't let it go...I lost count how many times he said he was pissed about the whole ordeal. At his urging we walked a few minutes to a coffee spot not too far away so that he could try it again. We get in line, order our drinks, and I sit and wait for him in the corner......a few minutes later he's walking towards me...empty handed. Regardless of the total or the date for that matter...looks like the card was still "expired" wink..wink ;). Being the good sport that I am we sat outside and attempted to get know each other a little better......

All I can say is that Napoleon lived up to his moniker by expressing his disdain for meeting women in LA, comparing LA women to women in other parts of the country, complaining, and of course how his main focus and goal is $$$$$. Thank god two firetrucks pulled up at the right moment (A million thanks to the LAFDP and the Universe) as this was a perfect opportunity to play the "curious" i.e..let's go see what's going on card and end the tragedy of this evening with no beverage. Turns out the only fire at The Grove was the one at my feet because they were burning up ready to leave!! Napoleon got my parking ticket validated and walked me to my car as I casually asked him where he was parked.....are you ready for this one....my little wee Frenchman arrived at our meeting spot sans vehicle and NO I did not offer to take him home! To think I could have been at home enjoying a bottle of 2 buck chuck and watching the premier of Rachel Zoe or that new A&E show Hoarders. Tonight I took one for the team....

Well folks....my plan was to share some tips from my latest Buru, Guiliana Ranic, from "Think Like a Guy...How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One" but this was just too good folks...too good so look for tips soon!

Stay Tuned.....Only 97 dates to go!!!!

**I rushed this post for you Shannon...wanted you to have some juicy reading for your morning routine :0)*****

Week 2: Diona returns from Mecca........

So I'm sure you're all wondering how the trip to 'Mecca' was eh? Umm..so remember my old equation?? Let me remind you:
Single Girl + Wedding /Party Bus = Dates. Well, I have a new one for you:
Single Girl + Wedding on a Yacht for 4 plus hours + Several Dramamine = Diona passed out on a couch right up until the boat docked!
Yup....that was no typo people. One of the bridesmaid's and myself had an ugly aversion to sea travel so to combat our issue we prepared ourselves by popping a few (not one but a few) Dramamine an hour before take off and I popped a few more once I boarded the demon of the sea. Clearly neither one of us realized that drowsiness was a by product of this wonder drug because shortly after dinner and before the night really got started on the dance floor (i.e prime time to boogie down and mingle) we were both OUT like babies after a feeding. Needless to say my attempt to acquire Date #3 was thwarted because I didn't read the fine print on the side of the bottle. So....while my trip to dating Mecca still leaves me at Date #3 and counting ...I still had a fabulous time.

Tina and Tyson...Thanks for a great and memorable evening!!

Week 2 is coming to an end but the dates are still coming! Stay tuned.........

Week 2: A girl needs her rest....and a little reality tv

Ahhhhh...well I decided to take a night off to catch up on a few long awaited TV premiers...Top Chef Las Vegas, Project Runway and Flipping Out and to decide which new Buru's advice I will begin to follow. I have actually been doing my homework and started reading a few new manuals one of which is actually titled "The Manual" by Steve Santagati, which is the bad boy's guide to how men think with that other head, "Think Like a Guy..How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One" by Guiliana Rancic (formerly DePandi)...hmmm..wonder if Giuliani's tips will help land me an Apprentice that I can call my own (and a little stint on E! wouldn't be too shabby either) or Patty Stanger's new book from Millionaire Matchmaker fame, "Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting your Perfect Mate". So after fumbling through a few pages...I've decided that my next Buru (Buru=Book+Guru for some of you new followers) is going to go the ladies....alright Mrs. Apprentice, I am your clay.....mold me.

AND Date #3 is actually already in the works...it was tentatively going to be tonight (Thursday night) but bachelor #3 is headed East for a few days so we will catch up with him next week! Updates from Mr. Windy City or Nawlin's you ask?? Stay tuned.......