Email #1 - Initial Contact: Keep it short and sweet...share a little tidbit about myself enough to invite a little curiosity and a few questions..like "I am a former New Yorker new to L.A.."
Email #2 - Weed Out Process: Now.. I find the second point of contact the most important as this is the time to pay attention to the small details...was the last thing he read The Sunday Times or last weeks TV Guide?? Also don't forget the 2 to 4 inch height rule of thumb...if he says he's 6'0 its usually safe to deduct at least 2" so expect anywhere from 5'8-5'10 and wear flats just to be on the safe side. Go back and review the profile...is he looking to have a kids in the future?? Definitely, No, Maybe....check those stats! And finally...determine whether or not to pursue a first date.
Email #3 - Secure the 1st Date: By the third exchange I have determined a few things: 1) He's peeked my interest enough that I want to meet in person and 2) He's not a psychopath and going to fillet me and serve my phalanges with a side of hummus and red wine.
By the time I got to the third exchange with #7 I was very eager to to meet the quirky, creative, and funny guy hiding behind the screen. Now...in most cases I usually don't like to engage in a TEXTual relationship with someone prior to meeting in person but for some reason I threw caution to the wind and did the SMS mambo with my new suitor that I'd like to refer to as "The Sleuth". So The Sleuth and I exchanged text messages for about two days prior to our first date. So Day 1 of my TEXTual relationship was engaging, funny and flirty....nice right? Day 2..ohhhh day 2...well after a little light hearted banter the rest of the conversation goes a little something like this:
The Sleuth: I work hard, people depend on me and I'm looking for a serious and genuine relationship and I'm not looking to be exploited.
ME: Ummm.....ok...what just happened here??
The Sleuth: Your blog....I'm not ok with your 'Sex and The City' experiment
ME: Gaspppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yikes....what a way to get things started right? I realize that documenting my quest for 100 Dates by the end of the year may be considered an unconventional way of finding my happy ending but nonetheless my intentions are honest and pure. While I was not prepared for the discovery and confrontation from The Sleuth I did understand where he was coming from and understood why he would question my motives. So after the initial shock of getting busted we had a very open TEXTsation (conversation via Text) about my blog, his feelings, my "motives" and my feelings that lasted well into the night. Ahhhhhhh...what ever happened to the old fashioned way of communicating like hearing an actual voice and talking over the phone??? So many things get lost in translation with a little 3 x 3 screen and qwerty keyboard at 2:00 o'clock in the morning.....ahhhhh. After much back and forth the air was cleared between me and The Sleuth and we were finally on the same page with each other and agreed that we still wanted to meet for our first date.
The Date
After our heated exchange of opinions and truths I already felt as if The Sleuth and I were already past that awkward 1st date stage.....well..not so fast. Now if there is one pet peeve that I have for dating its that I can't stand when a guy can't be decisive enough to find a place to meet. La Brea, Highland, Santa Monica, Fountain.....I was giving myself a mini nighttime tour of L.A whilst on the phone with The Sleuth and still had no clue where we were meeting up until the very last minute when by hap stance he was behind me in traffic and we pulled off on a side street to figure out the plan and as a result...it was the first time we saw each other in "real life". I felt like a giddy school girl when I maneuvered my car around for the big reveal.....oh so strange but so far nothing about our union has been normal up to this point. After all of the pomp and circumstance we finally landed on a place to go......thank God!
I finally got settled and had a cocktail with The Sleuth and I found him to have a quiet charisma and charm about himself and I also enjoyed his sense of humor. Conversation was pretty easy and seamless but funny enough we almost didn't have much to say to each other....hmm..maybe it was our heated textsation from the night before??
All things considered I think my date with The Sleuth went pretty well. I'm not 100% certain about sparks and butterflies...guess this is where a second date may come in handy. Although I can't ignore the 300 pound gorilla that entered the chat room...i.e..the discovery of my blog and his initial adverse reaction to it....I'm not so sure if HE can get past that. It was never my intention to keep my blog a secret or hidden to anyone (although it makes for a more interesting post! HA!) and I respect The Sleuth's feelings and assured him that I would not reveal his identity or other key details about him but for some reason I don't think that will be enough for him. Blogging about my quest for 100 Dates and sharing it has not only become a atypical way of finding love but also a new discovery for ME...one that I refuse to give up at the behest of a new suitor. I AM looking for love, butterflies, fireworks and happiness....and why shouldn't I be able to talk about it???
Ok....another date slated for tomorrow and thankfully I did not meet him online!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stay Tuned....
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